I’m going to do something a bit different here, I will create a series of posts that will include the first three chapters of the latest version of my motivational book “Just Do It – Damn It” for free, I will separate each chapter in to a few posts, because some of the chapters are a bit big and I don’t want the posts to become too long.
Please make sure you read Just Do It – Damn It – 2. It’s Not What Happens to You, It’s How You Handle It (Part 1) , before continuing.
If you are interested in checking out the full book, you can find it here:
- Amazon US – Just Do It – Damn It: The Approach To Life, Business & Success
- Amazon UK – Just Do It – Damn It: The Approach To Life, Business & Success
Thanks in advance, and now on to the book itself.
Just Do It – Damn It – 2. It’s Not What Happens to You, It’s How You Handle It (Part 2)
Why it’s so important how you handle different situations?
Some of the thing that may happen if you handle situations in a negative way:
- You will feel like the world is against you – I know people like that, I think that we all know at least one person who is always saying “why me”. They feel like everybody is out to get them. Nothing goes their way and always everybody else is the problem. If you fall into the trap of the victim mentality, your daily existence will become a mash-up of paranoia, anger and frustration. The truth is that nobody cares enough about you (except your parents and maybe your best friend) that they are actively trying to sabotage everything you do. Knowing that should make you happy. Your quality of life is all dependent on you!
- Your confidence, self-believe and self-value will shrink – whenever I react in a negative way to a situation that I could have handled better, I always feel like shit for the rest of the day. If I started an argument with somebody, or was behaving inappropriately – I feel bad, because I know I could have done better and I have let myself down. Some people thrive on making other people feel bad and get a kick out of it. This behaviour usually leads to building a massive ego, not a solid confidence (that you can back up with behaviour and skills). And a massive ego (with no actual substance to it) will get you in trouble sooner rather than later.
- You will alienate family, friends and the people around you – making friends sometimes is hard and alienating people is dead easy (talking from experience here). People that constantly have a negative outlook and react negatively to every situation are not the kind of people who many want to associate with. As a person that has lost many friends and alienated many people in my lifetime, I’m telling you from experience, work on your character and the way you react to everyday life situations, it’s very important!
- You’re just not fun anymore – my biggest turn off in humans is negative outlook on life. If you constantly complain how bad things are, how life sucks and how everybody is against you, I don’t want you to be my friend or anything to do with you. That doesn’t mean that I won’t listen to your problems if you’ve got some, but I choose friends and associates that are positive people only. I think that many people want to surround themselves with positive people who are fun to be with. Nobody wants to hang out with Mr. Frowny Face (at least I don’t).
Some of the thing that may happen if you handle situations in a positive way:
- You will see the bad situation like an opportunity to grow – opportunities are literally everywhere you can think of, but unfortunately, only a very small percentage of people can actually spot them. Especially when it comes to bad situations, most people panic or get very frustrated. The biggest opportunities often hide in bad situations. Sometimes is scary to lose a job, move to a new city or end a friendship or a relationship. But sometimes that brave step forward (that you need to take) will open the door to an endless amount of possibilities and opportunities, you just need to have the courage to jump into the unknown and make it happen!
- Your attitude will evolve after time – attitude is the driving force for all things in life, your outcome is directly connected to your attitude. If you want good results you need to put out the right mental and physical energy in to the world. Once you get to a point where you can control your mental state and emotions, your attitude will start to evolve and change for the better. It will take time and it will not be easy, but it will be worth it at the end.
- This is how real confidence is build – I’m a firm believer that the only way a child or a young person can start building a real solid self-confidence is when they start to overcome challenges by themselves (that’s why I’m not a fan of “helicopter parenting”) the same goes for adults as well. Unfortunately, there are many people at the two far corners of the confidence scale, you either have the over-confident arrogant ego maniacs (with no substance to their confidence and character) or on the other end, you have people who don’t value who they are and who let the whole world treat them like a door mat. Both extremes are very dangerous and usually don’t lead to a healthy relationship with one’s self. The only way to avoid this type of dysfunction is if you overcome shit. If you fail at a task, project, business, relationship or a job, there will be a moment of anger, sadness and self-loading. But after that passes you will slightly increase your confidence and self-believe, because you manage to overcome something difficult and you found the strength to move forward Trust me, I’ve had many failures in my life, but after each one, after some time passes the wound heals and self-confidence is build.
- You can help others by sharing your experiences – this is a great way to spread the message of the knowledge and experiences you have gathered.
- You’re fun to be around – I can’t get enough of people who are positive and upbeat, I’m sure you’re the same way. People that are constantly joking, looking for a positive angle of every situation and are upbeat, are the sort of people you want to hang around more. They have a magnetic charisma around hem that can be very contagious. Think about the people you like to be around and what makes them the way they are? Why not try to be more like them and see if this will make a change in the way people perceive you?
How to handle bad situations the right way?
This is the part people want to read in each chapter, the “how to”. I know you come for this bit, everybody reading this book is probably like – common Mike, get to the bit we came here for, what are you on about, talking about Mr. Angry Pants and your father, don’t get us wrong you’re a phenomenal story-teller and all that, but get on with it!
I really believe that even though life throws unpredictable shit your way, you can still control your behaviour and the way you react, so these are the things that I use when a bad situation occurs in my life (it took me a couple of years to reach a level where I was capable of controlling my reactions and behaviour in bad situations).
Here are some helpful tips:
Think about the bad situation that has occurred (or will occur) and ask yourself:
- Is it really worth for me to get negative and react in a negative way?
No situation is worth losing your mind over or ruining your entire day. It sounds easy to say and it’s very hard to practice. By losing your mind over it or reacting negatively, you’re just making the situation worse. I know it sounds easy, but just stop for a second and think about it, don’t just go with the flow and react only on instinct.
- Really, how bad is the situation? Analyse it in your mind, write it down or talk it over with somebody.
A question that is so simple, yet so effective. How bad is it? Most of the time we make a problem seem bigger than it is. We turn a small obstacle or a problem into a massive crisis in the matter of seconds. It’s all in our heads. Analysing a situation has really worked for me. If you can, talk to somebody about the problem you’re having.
Do yourself a favour and whenever something bad happens to you, just stop for a second and think about it, is it really that bad? Will you manage to bounce back? Even if that doesn’t help, or the situation is very serious and you don’t have the time to think, at least if you take some time to calm yourself down, you won’t lose your temper or react in a negative way. And that is a good starting point.
- Why am I really handling the situation in this negative way? And what’s the real reason for it?
Everybody comes with baggage and a messed-up past. We all go through shit and have our own personal demons and insecurities. These are some of the reasons why we react and overreact to certain situations as they trigger a memory, insecurity or a bad experience from your past and this leads to a bad reaction. I don’t know you personally, so I don’t know what bothers you and what triggers certain set of emotions in you. That’s why you are on your own here. You need to analyse and find a way to better understand what causes you to react negatively to certain situations. Do whatever works for you, what helped me in the past was keeping a daily journal for 1 year and also talking to my family more openly and honestly on a weekly basis.
Try different things and do what works for you.
Always keep in mind that there is something to be learned in every negative or positive situation and experience. When a bad event occurs in your life, have an honest conversation with yourself and analyze what mistakes you made or why things didn’t worked out the way you wanted them to. Learn your lesson and improve on yourself, always strive to grow as a person after a misfortune occurs.
I will finish off this chapter with two inspirational quotes (sarcastic voice – hooray cheesy quotes that will look great on my Instagram) (yes, I have many of those on mine).
“View the positive side of things – every negative situation has at least one or even more positive sides.”
“View the bad situations in life as a challenge and prove everyone wrong when you show that you can make it.”
End of Chapter
Chapters to Come
Just Do It – Damn It – 3. Don’t waste time, invest it (Part 1)
Just Do It – Damn It – 3. Don’t waste time, invest it (Part 2)
Thank you for reading and make sure you fallow and bookmark my blog for the latest posts..